When is the right time to have another baby?

This post has been in the works for a while and after much coercion from Kerry after posting her post on the subject, I wanted to give my opinions. When is the right time to have another baby?

 

The way I see it, there is no right or wrong time but there are different factors that you have to consider, many of which Kerry mentions in her post. Money is, of course, one of the biggest factors that comes into play with us. Financial problems have beset us a lot recently and although we are managing to live, our savings plans have had to take a huge hit – could our budget really handle the pressure of an extra mouth to feed as well as saving for a wedding?

 

Will Jack be ready? I’m pretty confident that Jack would adore having a little brother or sister as he is so good with other children, especially those younger than him. However, it could be different if he somehow felt this new sibling was taking attention away from him. I do seem to have a little drama queen for a child – terrible twos have hit a couple of months early – but I have my fingers crossed that the transition from a 3 person family to a 4 person will be a breeze.

 

Do we want another one? Well, the answer is yes of course – otherwise we wouldn’t be discussing the possibilities. However, even though I now have a 20 month old son and am engaged to be married, I can’t help feeling that people are judging me solely on my age. Whilst they can judge all they like – I know that their presumptions of me as a young mother are wrong and misguided – there is still that niggling feeling in the back of my mind.

 

Is she giving me a dirty look because I’m a young mum? Why is she checking out my left hand – is she checking for a ring? What has it got to do with her? 

 

Believe it or not, when Steve and I were in Rome (which, okay, is quite a religious city), I actually had an old lady look me up and down with disgust, sneer at me and make a comment in Italian about me to herself. From the tone of her voice, I could tell it was less than complimentary and can only assume it was because I was an unmarried young mother. I completely understand that these may be her religious beliefs and respect that but I don’t respect being made to feel less than worthwhile just because I haven’t married yet.

 

 

Is the age gap too big/too little? I know couples who have had babies within months of each other and others that have waited a good few years. Both myself and Steve have decided that ideally we would like nothing more than a 2.5 year age gap between our children. All of my siblings are much older than me so I grew up essentially as an only child whereas Steve had his little brother and stepsister around who were similar ages. A good case for this is my two cousins. My uncle and auntie had them 5 years apart. I was born in the middle – I am 2.5 years younger than one and 2.5 years older than the other. They had nothing in common when they were little (as they are now adults, they have bridged the gaps) but I was at the optimum age for both of them to want to play with me but they could not stand the thought of playing games with each other!!

 

Although I have siblings, I never want Jack or any other child we have to feel left out or alone like I did sometimes. If I was at home, I only had my parents to talk to and that sucked sometimes hence why I am eager for a bigger family.

 

 

So do we think we are ready? We have decided that we are. The wedding is probably being put back until April 2016 now anyway, I am going to be working from home anyway and we believe that with the right budgeting, we would be able to have another baby soon. We haven’t decided to start trying just yet, we need to adjust to all the major changes that have happened recently but hopefully in the not too distant future, I shall have some exciting news!

 

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