Far too often, I see picture perfect blog posts about people and their children – how perfect their life is, how perfect their child is, how nothing goes wrong. Sure, we all love a bit of show here and there but sometimes it can be so transparent. The blogs I love are honest, true and talk about the difficulties they face. These ‘perfect lives’ that others are displaying are nothing like the lives other parents live and it isn’t fair that some parents feel they are doing a crappy job when they see things like this. There are so many difficulties of being a mum.
I definitely have my shortcomings when it comes to being a mum. I’m not the greatest cook – we all know Steve is the cook in our family. I sometimes get behind with the housework, don’t we all? No matter how many books you read, TV shows you watch, people you talk to – nothing can prepare you for parenthood and all the ups and downs that come with it.
Now Jack is two, I finally believe in the ‘Terrible Twos’ – I was totally willing to believe that they could be a myth and my little angel would sail through his second year in a calm manner. Boy, I couldn’t be more wrong – in the space of a couple of hours the other day, my normally nice and well mannered (if sometimes hyper) boy had hit me numerous times, bit me, thrown things at me and across the room, ran away from me countless times and drawn on my bedsheets. I know I’m not the only one facing this – Kerry posted about the same subject here – but if anything can make you feel like a failure, its when your child is having a complete meltdown, screaming his heart out because you took your phone from him and you find yourself hoping the neighbours realise its a temper tantrum because Jack is doing a good job of making it sound otherwise!
Then there is the other side of the coin – when you realise how quickly time is slipping away. It doesn’t seem real – Jack has just turned 2 and next month, it will be three whole years since I got pregnant. I may not have found out for a couple of months that I was expecting but that is a long old time. It really brought home the fact that my little boy is growing up so fast and whilst we celebrate every little achievement he has such as a new word or thing that he does, it also saddens me that I can’t stop time just for a little while. I actually got a little emotional reading Jade’s post about it as I totally know where she is coming from. I think I also feel some guilt – when I went back to work, Steve was at home and got to see all the new things Jack did – now I work from home and Steve is at work all day, I get to see them and that is heartbreaking – obviously we need to work because we have bills to pay but in a perfect world, both parents could see all the new things their child does instead of noticing how much time is slipping away.
There are so many more difficulties as parents that we face – the sleepless nights, the tiny snuffle that we rush to paediatric A&E for, the judgement from others for how parents choose to parent their child – it never lets up.
However, whilst our lives as parents may not be perfect, we certainly have the best job in the world. For that, we should be thankful.