Baby Loss Awareness Week – 9th-15th of October 2016 | My Story

You may or may not know it but this week is Baby Loss Awareness Week. With over 20+ charities supporting this week, Baby Loss Awareness Week is an opportunity for bereaved parents, families and friends to remember their loss, raise awareness about the issues surrounding pregnancy and baby loss in the UK and inform society on what the charities are doing to help and support affected families.

I spoke about my missed miscarriage back in January in a post on why I was glad to leave 2015 behind. I didn’t talk too much about it as everything was still quite raw then. That’s not to say I find it easy to talk about now but over time it has got easier to speak about it, especially to those who were directly affected by my loss – Steve, my parents, Steve’s parents. Its not something I really discuss with Jack but he does bring it up every now and again about the ‘poorly baby’.

Until it happens to you, you have no idea just how common baby loss truly is, whether that be during pregnancy or losing your child to SIDS. Until I had my miscarriage, I barely knew of anyone that had suffered a similar loss – maybe I just hadn’t been as aware – but now its frighteningly clear to see how right the statistics have been and how common it can be. I have friends who have suffered missed miscarriages like me – finding out a few weeks down the line, miscarriages, stillbirths and one of my friends who lives locally lost her daughter to SIDS. Baby loss is more common than you think and it is important we talk about it and help support each other through difficult times.

When I lost my baby back in December, I didn’t know what to do and I don’t know what I would have done without my friends and family by my side. From the friends who dropped everything to be by mine and Steve’s side as everything happened, to my Mum who simply sat on the bed and cuddled me as I cried, to the blogger friends who sent a care package not just for me but also Steve and Jack knowing how affected they were to – thank you. Just knowing that I had these people to turn to, to talk to made the world of difference and this is why I feel raising awareness of this week is so important.

What I’ve found most hard to talk about since my loss is pregnancy after miscarriage. As most of you will know, I am now 25 weeks pregnant with my little rainbow baby girl and every single second of every day, the fear is there. Last week when I fainted and lost all vision for a few seconds reminded me of when I was actually miscarrying and couldn’t see anything for five to ten minutes – as soon as I came round last week, I just wanted to know baby girl was okay.  The slightest bit of discomfort or pain causes me worry and I have to talk myself down before I work myself up too much. I know that plenty of the things I’m feeling are normal pregnancy related issues as my body stretches and makes way for baby girl but since losing a baby, its mad how those little things that you wouldn’t normally pay any attention to become such a source of panic. The anxiety never goes away.

This time last year I was pregnant, a couple of weeks in fact. In a couple of months time it will be one year since my loss and baby girl is due almost exactly to the day a month after – I found out I had lost the baby on the 19th of December with everything actually happening on the 21st of December and baby girl is due on the 21st of January 2017. They say time is a healer and whilst the emotional wounds will never go away, it is easier to speak out now (although by no means easy at all) and its important to do so, to raise awareness of something that could easily affect us all and to offer support to those who need it.

To show your support & get involved, please visit here and please consider joining in the Global Wave of Light at 7pm on October 15th 2016. Simply light a candle at 7pm and leave it burning for at least 1 hour to join us in remembering all babies that have died too soon. This can be done individually or in a group, at home or in a communal space. Wherever you do this, you will be joining a global ‘Wave of Light’ in memory of all the babies who lit up our lives for such a short time.