Collaborative Post
It’s not easy losing a parent, and we all go through the grieving process, no matter how old we may be. However, it’s true that it’s generally more difficult for the partner of the deceased parent than anyone else. While you’ll miss your parent, it’s likely that you’ve got your own life, including your own partner and family. For your parent that remains, that won’t be the case, not in the same way at least. You’ll have lost a part of you; they will have lost half of themselves. For this reason, it’s important that you’re working to help them through it. Here’s how you can do it.
Photo by Olia Gozha on Unsplash
Be There
There are plenty of things you can do that’ll help your parent to work through their grief, but the first thing to do is simply be there. This is one of the most powerful things. If your parents were living alone, then suddenly, your remaining parent will find that they’re in a home all by themselves — and the loneliness that this can induce can be especially severe. While you may not move in with your parent, spending as much time as possible around there will be a big help. I find parenting quite lonely sometimes, I dread to think how lonely my Mum can feel sometimes.
Help With the Essentials
There’ll be plenty of things to take care of when you lose a parent. While the parent that remains may want to take control of these matters, it’ll be helpful if you offer a helping hand — or at least offer to be there when they’re taking care of the details. You can help with all manner of things, from looking at headstones to going through the deceased person’s belongings and contacting friends and family to let them know what has happened. Sometimes just being there for emotional support can make a huge difference.
Self-Help Materials
There’s a whole world of information out there on how to cope with and overcome grief. The issue is that some of the best material isn’t so accessible; it could be online, or on a podcast, or in a video. Older people spend less time online than younger people, so they will be less likely to come across the information that could help them. If you’re tech-savvy and frequently online, then dig out some of the best content, and send it to your parent. They might just learn a nugget of wisdom that really helps them.
Get Things Planned
There’s no avoiding the fact that your remaining parent will be in for a rough few months following the death of their partner. They won’t want to see too many people, or do anything, not at first. But everyone needs something to look forward to. Without being pushy, suggesting — or even organising — something fun for a few months down the line, such as a trip or get together or anything else will give your mum or dad something to look forward to. It’ll remind them that good moments still exist, and also give them somewhere to focus the energy that they may be putting into sadness.