Parenting

Why Toddlers Bite Others And What To Do About It

When their toddler bites another child, parents may panic. They shouldn’t. Biting is common with toddlers, and there are remedies to change the behaviour.

Biting may start at home, when a child spots a toy in the hands of a sister or brother who won’t give it up. Frustrated, the child bites, leaving teeth marks in the sibling’s flesh. The problem may continue at a day care centre where children are vying for toys and attention. They may cluster around a paint easel, for example, and toddlers don’t know how to wait their turn or share yet.

Parents are often shocked when biting happens, but they shouldn’t be. Most toddlers between ages one and three will bite someone, usually another child.

Lacking Words, Toddlers Resort to Bites

Toddlers often bite because it’s a means of communication that is effective for them, when their verbal skills are not yet developed. Because they don’t have words for “Give me back my fire truck,” or, “Pay attention to me right now,” they bite.

And it usually works, with howls of pain and rage from the biter’s target, as well as an immediate response from parents or caregiver. Very young kids need a great deal of attention, and biting is a sure way to get it. Not all kids bite, some may hit, grab or push, for the same reasons. Biting is an aggressive behaviour, just as pushing, hitting or grabbing is, and should be viewed and treated the same way.

Start Early to Prevent Bites

If a baby is teething, teething rings may ease the discomfort. Chewing on a clean, frozen washcloth may also help. Help toddlers learn to use words to express frustration. Episodes may be prevented by learning to recognize situations that may lead to biting. And take your child to the dentist regularly; for a good recommendation, check out the professional dental clinic in West Harwich.

biting is common - picture of toddler

Parents’ First Response to Biting

Biting, like other aggressive behaviors, is instinctive, and controlling that instinct must begin at a very early age from examples set by parents and siblings. If a child is treated with respect as well as love, he will be more likely to show respect to others. The response to a biting child should begin simply and firmly, saying, “We don’t bite,” or “Biting hurts.”

The message should be consistent and repeated. On the other hand, too much or too strong attention may make biting an attention-getter for the child. To emphasize the message while delivering it quietly, it is best to take the child aside, resting comfortably, perhaps in the child’s room or settled into a rocking chair.

Never Bite Back

For some parents, the first reaction is to bite the child back, to show what it feels like. It will likely reinforce the behaviour. Instead, give attention first to the child who was bitten. This shows that biting is not a good way to get attention. A very young toddler doesn’t know yet that other people will be hurt.

Be consistent. If biting happens again, response should be the same each time. And if biting occurs in both the home and the day care centre, the response should be consistent. This requires communication between parents and day care providers.

Medical Treatment for a Child’s Bites

A child’s bite is rarely harmful, and doesn’t require medical treatment. A bite that pierces the skin and bleeds should be washed with soap and water. According to the article “Biting Treatment Overview” on WebMD, medical attention will be needed only if a bite that pierces the skin begins to show signs of infection, or the child is at high risk for problems from an infection.

How to Turn Off the Bites

In spite of parents’ best efforts to prevent biting behavior, incidents can happen. Here are points to remember to reduce anxiety for the child and the parents too!

  • Don’t panic. Remember, biting is common in toddlers.
  • Find out what situations cause the biting. Look for patterns, then try to catch an incident, before it happens.
  • Teething may be a factor in very young toddlers. Provide replacement objects, such as teething rings.
  • Respond to incidents firmly, but don’t over react or use physical punishment. Never bite the child back. Instead, use praise for not biting.
  • Comfort and reassure the bitten child. Wash the affected area if the skin is broken.
  • Be consistent in your reaction to biting incidents.
  • Communicate with day care providers and work together to end the behaviour.

Biting another child is a common action for frustrated toddlers, whose parents may be shocked when it happens. Because they lack of communication skills, toddlers often act out their frustrations by biting. Prevention and treatment techniques can go a long way in turning off the bites.

18 thoughts on “Why Toddlers Bite Others And What To Do About It

  1. Do people really bite back when there kid bites that is crazy! These sound like some realistic and good tips to help people going through this phase with their kids.

  2. Biting back used to be the advice, my HV even suggested it which is madness!

    This is great advice, I think remembering that most behaviours are related to a frustration of understanding on not being able to verbalise emotions yet helps an adult remain calmer and more able to deal with the situation x

  3. Rachel Craig says:

    Great topic, as I have heard of parents being truly hurt (Emotionality)and embarrassed by their child biting someone.

    Knowing that it is a possibility, and the best way to deal with such an action / outcome seems beneficial for us all. Good to be prepared, just in case. Also good to understand the whole situation, reasoning, etc.

    So, Well Done! In addressing this possibility.

  4. I’ve never had to deal with a child biting, my boys never did that. I know a couple of people that said they had a child that did and they bit back, I know others that say they dealt with it in other ways.

  5. This is really helpful advice – although my daughters haven’t really been ‘biters’, they’ve been bitten at nursery and it was dealt with with such professionalism!

  6. Great advice every parent has gone through the biting stage at some point, the key is to how we as parents deal with it.

  7. I remember being told to bite back too – not good advice! Biting is a tough one to deal with, these are good tips.

  8. Deborah Clarke says:

    I remember this stage , we have all been there. Great advice x

  9. Jeanette Leighton says:

    I am so lucky in none of my children have done this , I think one of my siblings did when we were little and my mum bit them back !! And said it worked they never did it again though I don’t think I would personally recommend or try myself lol

  10. I didn’t realise toddlers are known to bite! I haven’t had children yet – maybe one day! Good to be aware of these things 🙂

  11. Denise Walton says:

    Great advice,this is something we went through

  12. This is great advice. I remember when my little brother bit me when we were younger – even though he only had tiny teeth, it did hurt and I still remember it today!

  13. These are great tips for new mums and those wondering how to stop their toddlers from biting each other. I am lucky both my kids did not bit but one of my friends had her child who used to bite her sibling and others at the nursery and she struggled to get her to stop.

  14. When my daughter was young a kid bite her hand at playgroup. My daughter was terrified and it took me weeks to get her be comfortable to go to play group . You have shared some great info on how to tackle this issue.

  15. Mine used to bite more when they were teething, but its mostly frustration at not being able to communicate. Good tips

  16. Biting is such an instinctive behaviour to young toddlers. I’m stunned that biting back is still considered acceptable, I though that school of thought was gotten rid of years ago

  17. Melanie williams says:

    This is such a difficult subject, but your piece has provided some sound advice that will really help new mums and dads for sure x

  18. This is a really helpful blog post, thanks so much. We have a 2 year old and the occasional biting has happened with him and his brother.

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