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Reaction to Finding Mum and Dad Documentary on Channel 4: New Channel 4 documentary takes a look into the Government’s brand new adoption scheme.
Reaction to Finding Mum and Dad Documentary on Channel 4: New Channel 4 documentary takes a look into the Government’s brand new adoption scheme.
Finding Mum and Dad is a new Channel 4 documentary about the Government’s brand new adoption scheme that plans to help ‘hard to place’ children. The documentary, that aired on Wednesday 15th January, follows 3 unbelievably sweet children in care, brothers, Connor and Daniel aged 6 and 4, and a Scott aged 7.
These boys will find it much harder to get adopted than most. Babies and young girls are seen as easier to raise than boys. Potential adopters generally tend to choose babies as they want to see the fullest development of their child to be, and in the eyes of adopters, young girls are seen as better behaved. So boys, older children, groups of siblings, the disabled and ethnic minorities will struggle to find someone to love them or a ‘forever family’ as the program calls it.
Forever families are what the social workers and foster carers call adoptive families. For although all three children are in happy and loving homes, they are not permanent, which is why the boys head to the Government’s new adoption activity days. The scheme is now being run nationwide, is a sort of party for would be adopters and “difficult to place” children to meet each other before they choose to adopt. The children play in soft play areas and colour in, while the adopters to be go round and play with them. Surprisingly, it seems that the adopters are more nervous than the children. “What if no one wants to play with us?” asks Karen, a would be adopter approved for the scheme. The scheme has so far been successful finding families for many children that on paper may not have been adopted, and coming to a party could double a child’s chances of adoption.
What I enjoyed most about the film was the relationships the boys had with their loving foster carers. Connor and Daniel live with their foster carers Katie and Paddy, and Scott lives with his foster carers Bev and Peter. It was beautiful to see the way they looked after them and hear about how much they have helped them.
When Scott came to Bev he had bald patches in his hair, he couldn’t converse and he just made moaning noises, “Now he’s happy and a completely different child.” Scott is talkative and even gives the crew a little guided tour of his house. It was heart breaking when Scott took the crew to his younger sister’s old room, when asked where she was, he explained “Tracy is in a new home” the two had been separated from each other as the courts felt that they would have more chance of being adopted.
When Daniel first came into care with Katie and Paddy, He was dressed in baby clothes, nappies, had his food mashed up for him and he had no language at all. “Daniel came to me as a three year old baby.” Katie says about him. If either, Connor or Daniel got hurt or upset, they would react with, silence or anger and were unaccepting of comfort or cuddles.
Both Daniel and Connor had regular, significant nightmares. In the film we see the boys have changed a great deal, it is truly amazing, Daniel cuddles and kisses Katie all the time, he has good language skills, and they all love each other very much. You would not be able to tell one bit what Daniel and Connor have been through. They are two very healthy and happy brothers who are looking for their very own forever family as soon as possible.
Sadly, as the boys get older they will only get harder to place, and could end up spending the rest of their lives in care. After three adoption parties none of the boys are placed in their forever families, which distresses Connor and Daniel’s carer, Katy, most “I just wanted to wrap them up, bring them home and keep them forever.” Forlornly knowing, that she is unable to.
Finding Mum and Dad, as much as it did so much for highlighting adoption in Britain, but it also did testament to the brilliant everyday people who work in foster care and the amazing work they do. If you would like to find out more about foster care please visit www.capstonefostercare.co.uk
I think it's sad that older children are often by passed – I know my parents had said when they had me they didn't mind how old the child was. I was one of the start of more open adoptions my parents were one of the first to actually meet my birth mother (first in the area unsure about the country) – they ended up with me (poor things) as they were chosen by my birth mother to have me and they also took me home at 7 days old instead of 6 months as happens with many adoptions (there is a grace period in case the birth parent changes their mind) but my parents agreed they would rather I started life in a stable home even if it meant giving up during that time. (again poor things) lol anyway rambling again <3 x
<3
Really thought-provoking post, Bex. My dad was adopted at birth, so thankfully never ended up in the situations that these poor kids will – it must be horrible to have no stable home, and no-one to call mum or dad. x
I'm glad he avoided these situations xx