Collaborative Post
Relationships are complex things. Each relationship is different. So, when it comes to planning a relationship or planning the future of an existing relationship, there’s a lot to take into consideration. Here are some common elements and steps to think about!
A Note
Before we get started, it’s important to emphasise that the traditional course of a relationship is in no way set in stone. Sure, a lot of people will choose or tend to do similar things in a similar order. But this is often due to societal constructs as opposed to the things necessarily being what we should do. Of course, there’s no set way to succeed in relationship progression. Everyone is different and the order, as well as occurrence, of different events will happen at different times for different people – and certain steps may not be in certain individuals’ plans at all. What’s important is that you take your relationship at a pace that is comfortable for both you and your partner and you do the things that you both want to do. Never feel pressured into any step just because it’s what someone else is doing. Instead, do what works for your relationship and this will help to lead to a more successful experience!
Know What You’re Looking For
Knowing what you’re looking for in a partner is of so much importance. Knowing what you want from a relationship, as well as what you might want in your partner, can really help to whittle down your options and ensure that you’re only dating people who are compatible with things like your personality, interests, world view, desired lifestyle and more. All too many people completely skip this step when it comes to seeking relationships and will find themselves continually dating people who don’t actually suit them. This will result in relationships that don’t stand the test of time, arguments and more. So, take some time to think properly about what you want. Where do you want to live long term? Do you want children? Do you want a particular income between you and your partner to provide you both with a certain quality of life? Do you need someone with similar interests or are you happy to have different personal pursuits? Do you need someone with aligning political views? The list goes on. Of course, you may start compromising on your list once you find someone you bond with, or you may find that your list changes over time, but this will get you off to a good start.
Meeting Someone
The next hurdle you may find is actually meeting someone. Of course, you can’t force this. But nowadays, there are more ways to meet people who want to date than ever before. You have the traditional means of meeting people – naturally and coincidentally. You may spend time in bars, you might attend a club or group, you may find someone in a whole manner of social settings. You also now have the option of online dating through websites and apps. Here, you can find a whole host of people who are actively seeking to date. This also makes selection easier, as you can swipe through profiles, showing their picture as well as providing information about themselves. If you find a match, you can also chat before meeting them, giving you time to determine whether you actually want to get to know them better on a face to face basis.
Dating
The majority of relationships will start with dating. This is a period where you and another person get to know one another and determine whether you are compatible and suitable for one another. Of course, dating can be difficult. Meeting up with someone you don’t know too well can be daunting and you may feel nervous. It’s important to have confidence in yourself. There are countless interesting date activities that you can take into consideration. Some popular options tend to include:
- Walks in the park
- Picnics
- Breakfast, lunch or dinner
- Cafes
- Bars
- Cinema
- Bowling
- Arcades
- The list goes on!
Of course, if you are meeting people you were introduced to online, make sure to be careful. You should meet in public settings and head home alone after the date.
Establishing Your Relationship
If dating is going well, you may eventually want to establish your relationship with your new partner. This will give you both confidence in your feelings for one another and can also allow you to set out boundaries that prevent either of you from doing things or acting in a way that will result in the other getting hurt. Often, couples will simply talk this over and determine whether they are in a relationship or not. Commonly, being in a relationship means a monogamous relationship and will mean that each partner is solely dedicated to the other and will not engage in flirtatious, sexual or romantic activities or feelings with others. Of course, this isn’t the only type of relationship out there. There are polyamorous individuals who will engage in multiple relationships at once, or open relationships, where partners will have sexual relationships with people outside of their actual relationship. It’s important to talk through what you want, openly and honestly, to ensure that you aren’t hurt and that there are boundaries that you can both agree on and accept.
Photo by Andre Furtado from Pexels
Moving In Together
When you’ve been in a relationship for a while, you may want to consider moving in with your partner. There are a number of reasons that people end up doing this. Sometimes, people will find that they’re spending so much time with their partner that they’re always at one or the other’s homes. It would make more sense to simply live in the same property, maximising the time that they spend together and reducing travel time between different properties. Sometimes, people will find that it makes more financial sense to move in together. Sharing a property is much cheaper than renting or owning two properties. Of course, moving in is a big step that can make or break many relationships. So, think it over before diving in the deep end. Start spending more and more time together to determine whether it will work. See if you and your partner can live in the same household for a week. For two weeks. For a month. This will help to give you a feel for what it will be like to live together full time. You’ll get to see your partner in their day to day lives, rather than prim and proper on weekly dates. It will also give you insight into habits that may bother you if you live together, such as messiness, loudness or other issues. You can then talk these things through with your partner and they can express frustrations on their side of things. You can then determine whether you can alter your behaviours to suit one another and try that out. If things go well during this time, it looks like you could be a perfect match for living together! Of course, before moving in, you should discuss finances too. This will help you to create a budget and determine how costs will be split between the pair of you.
Marriage
After living together for a while, many couples will decide to get married. There are countless reasons that different people want to get married and the reasons for you and your partner’s marriage may differ from someone else’s. First and foremost, marriage shows the utmost level of commitment. This can help both you and your partner to feel truly secure in your relationship. There’s a lot of emotional symbolism in marriage and it shows that you intend to spend your life with your partner and don’t have doubts about your relationship with one another. It also firmly establishes boundaries within the relationship in terms of outside individuals. There are also legal benefits to getting married. When you become married, you will jointly own assets within your relationship and share your finances too. You can benefit from tax breaks, as well as ensuring that your partner receives your finances and assets should you grow ill or pass away. Only you and your partner will know if you should get married or when the best time to get married is. It’s something that you should discuss to let your feelings and wishes clear. There’s a lot of planning that goes into this process. From deciding on venues to guest lists to MagnetStreet wedding invitations. So, make sure you’re fully prepared before going in with a proposal.
Children
Children can come before or after marriage, but they are, by far, the biggest commitment you can make with your partner. When you and your partner have children, you are bonded for life by a similar interest. You both gain responsibility. You both have to start caring about someone else more than yourselves and one another. Knowing when you are ready for children can be difficult. Ideally, you should have stability in your relationship, financial security and both be ready to fully settle down rather than having complete freedom in what you do and when. Really think this through before going ahead with it – it’s a lifelong commitment!
Sure, there are other, smaller stages. But these tend to be the main steps taken in relationships. So, consider them, see what works for you, and hopefully, everything goes well!