The hardest part about going to therapy is making it to the appointment (at least, initially). But as soon as a person gets to the appointment, and gets comfortable with going regularly, the second hardest part is getting the most out of it.
There’s a difference between being there and getting value from it.
But therapy is not a passive exchange. The more intent, work and truth there is to get out of it, the better the response and thus, there are tangible ways to make every session count.
Preparation Helps
It’s one thing to go into a session and have no idea what’s on your mind, but it’s better to go in with an idea of what that might be. This doesn’t have to be a formalized bullet point list, but instead something that has stuck with someone throughout the week. An interaction that grated, an occurrence that grew, a nameless emotion. The therapist is equipped to best help someone when they’re given even vague pointers, but the more focused the inquiry, the more powerful the momentum.
Some people like to jot down little notes in between sessions, not extensive notes, but just enough to trigger a reminder of what happened within the scope of the week, emotionally. Once established, these notes are very helpful to both the client and therapist.
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Honesty is the Best Policy (Even When It’s Awkward)
This is a given, but it should still be noted. The more honest someone can be with themselves and the therapist, the better. This includes embarrassing things, silly things, contradictory things, things that are hard to verbalize. A therapist isn’t going to judge, they’ve heard it all before and, moreover, what you’re most apprehensive in saying might be the most important.
In addition, be honest about therapy. If something doesn’t work for you, if something they said doesn’t sit well with you, there’s never any harm in discussing it. The therapeutic relationship is valued most when it’s a two-way street rather than a one-way bargain. For those unfamiliar with the process who desire this level of connection, for instance, therapy in denver is a great place to find someone matched to personal sentiments and emotions.
Recognize Not Every Session Will Be Life Changing
This is where many people falter before their first handful of sessions: not every meeting is going to be earth shattering. Some sessions will be slow. Some will repeat. Some will feel unhelpful in the moment but explore small kernels that bloom into larger conversations down the road.
Therapy is not a linear experience, and certainly not one with a spotlight on it. In fact, the sessions that feel grossly uncomfortable do the greatest amount of work. Trusting the process, especially when it feels stagnant, is what’s going to make therapy so successful.
Do The Work Outside of Session
Therapy is one hour (fifty minutes, to be exact). What happens in the other 100+ waking hours of the week is equally as valuable. Whether that stews what’s been discussed, tries on a new response strategy, or simply pays attention to emotional processing as it occurs in the moment.
Some therapists like to give some homework of sorts to return with reflections for the next session. These should not be optional “homework” but rather, due assignments, for sooner than later intensive effectiveness. This is where the real integration occurs outside the office.
Recognize What’s Coming Up for Discussion More Often Than Not
If there are themes/feelings/events arising within a few sessions that warrant reminding the therapist of, this could be a sign that something is going on. Uncomfortable patterns exist at the core of what’s potentially going on beneath and reiterating such patterns, beyond waiting for a therapist to interject, gives such work much more gravitas.
Give It Time
It’s easy for someone to assess that therapy isn’t working for them when they’ve just started, for one of the biggest drawbacks someone can fall into is terminating therapy prematurely. Particularly as real change takes time and the first few sessions are all about rapport building, background establishing and what’s really going on without even getting into the nitty gritty until something is established first.
Most therapists will designate an appropriate timeline for different circumstances and when people feel this suggestion overbearing, instead of thinking drastic changes can happen in three sessions, it makes everything easier.
Therapy is a skill, from both sides of the couch. The more actively engaged a person can be within it, the easier it is to provide tangible results. When a person comes in with talking points, honest perspectives and an open willingness for change both within the therapeutic setting and outside of it, they’re not passively engaged in their experience, they’re actively engaged participants of their own stories.