Collaborative Post
If you were in a real-life rom-com, then you would probably meet someone really cute, then you’d lock eyes and you’d both be sold from the word “hello”. Unfortunately, life is not a rom-com. It’s anything but, and if you want your relationship to work, then it is vital that you take the time to really make sure that you build it on a good foundation.
Focus on the Present
It is very natural for you to bring your fears and any negative experiences that you may have had in the past, to your new relationship. After all, it is a survival mechanism, and it is designed to stop you from getting your heart broken all over again. If old fears and insecurities do prevent heartbreak, you may find that they stop you from being truly happy in your new relationship. If a past partner has not been faithful to you then do not assume that your new partner is going to do the same. Eventually, you will probably have the conversation about your dating history but you should not rush into things if possible. Spend the first few days trying to get to know your partner, their likes, dislikes and also their general personality. There is no need to delve too deep on the actual date or meal out so take your time and take it easy.
Talk about the Future
Even though you shouldn’t focus on the past, you should take the time to focus on the future. Of course, you do not need to ask your partner how many kids they want before you have even gotten to the first course, but at the same time, you don’t want to get a year into the relationship, only to find out that your partner never wants them. It is not always fun for you to talk about the life goals that you have, whether it is marriage, politics or even religion (you might consider Christian dating if you are religious) but if you do have some deal-breakers then try and work them into the conversation so that you know if the two of you have some kind of future together.
Photo by René Ranisch on Unsplash
Make Sure You’re Attracted
Sometimes you may want to be in a relationship so badly because you are exhausted with dating. That being said, if this happens then you may find that you end up putting yourself in a bad situation. You may find that you are more attracted to the idea of being in a relationship as opposed to being attracted to the person in general. You don’t want to force a spark, and you should not overlook any flaws or red flags either. Don’t convince yourself that this HAS to work. You should someone you want to spend your time with? If you enjoy their company so much that you’d want to be with them whether or not they were “The One,” then you’re likely attracted to them, not just a relationship.
Meet their Friends
Your relationship is new, and this can make it tempting for you to keep everything to yourself. That being said, meeting friends quite early on is important. The way that you interact with one another’s friends is important and it can also tell you how the relationship is going to go. If you know that your partner’s friends are nice and if you can see yourself getting on with them, then this is great, and it can also help you to feel much more content about the relationship in general.
Have Important Conversations
Texting is a blessing when it comes to check-ins or even sending funny memes. That being said, you should make sure that you do not have important conversations this way. Discussing feelings is very important and it is a very good way for you to stop any disagreements. That being said, if you have these kinds of conversations over text then you may find that this leads to more friction, and this is the last thing that you need.
Be Yourself
You will save so much time if you focus on being yourself when you go on dates or at the beginning of a relationship. Sure, you may try and be cool at the beginning, and you may even pretend that you watch scary movies instead of rom-com movies all the time. That being said, if you try and avoid being yourself, then this will make it much harder for you to show your true colours. Be honest and be upfront about your likes, your dislikes and more. This will save you time and it will also save you a lot of stress when it comes to dating. It is also vital that you ask your partner to do the same. If you can do this, then you will soon find it much easier to find your soul mate. If you want to protect yourself then it is wise for you to explore the legal implications of relationship as well, if you feel like things could get serious between you and your partner.
Enjoy it
If you look back at every relationship you have, you may find that you ended up spending way more time than you should worrying about your hair or even your makeup. You may also worry about people not liking you as much as you hope, and that you need to try and be perfect in every way. While you wait for the new relationship bubble to pop, you need to try and enjoy it. Focus on enjoying the honeymoon phase and remember that it is normal for you to feel scared, reluctant or even vulnerable when you feel like your heart is on the line. It doesn’t matter how scary your new relationship might be, you have to make sure that you enjoy it. Have fun, and make the effort to try and focus on the good things that are happening. The more you can do this, the easier you will find it to overcome any challenges that you might come across.