If you’re one of the thousands of people thinking about saying ‘I do’, then your thoughts are probably running more around table settings and flower arrangements than anything else. It’s so easy to get wrapped up in the fairytale of planning your big day, that sometimes you can forget that it’s not just about the wedding arrangements.
No, getting engaged is much more significant than that. You’re about to merge your life fully with that of your partner- and that requires a few major conversations that you’d be surprised just how many people don’t have before making the biggest commitment of their lives. Solid foundations are built on open communication, so make sure you discuss these important things before you go searching for Diamond Engagement Rings:
The Kid Question
Being on the same page with family plans is something that quite a few are reluctant to discuss before the ink is even dry on the wedding invites. But it’s essential to understand – not just, does your partner want kids and how many? But how do you plan on raising them? Where do you stand on issues such as discipline and education? Raising children together is a huge journey and it can be as challenging as it is joyful. Getting the fundamentals right and acknowledging that you will both have an equal say in your children’s future is a worthwhile discussion to have.
The Money Question
Let’s face it, talking money can be hard. There are complex feelings at stake, as our attitudes to money are a lot more emotional than most of us realise. Approach the topic gently, but recognise the importance of having an honest discussion. We all have attitudes and feelings around money and it’s worth knowing what your partner’s are. Finances are one of the main causes of marital conflict, often because so much is unspoken before tying the knot. Know what each of your expectations are, and you’ll help to avoid a lot of arguments.
The Career Question
Don’t assume that you know it all when it comes to your partner’s attitude to their career. Work eats up a lot of our time and occupies a lot of our headspace, so it’s worth sharing exactly what your career goals and aspirations are. What are you prepared to do to make them happen? Would you move cities or work away? How would this work with any family plans? What happens if you have a set back like redundancy? Who is the main breadwinner and how does this affect the division of labour at home? All useful information to navigate your future together. Our careers don’t just affect us but they also affect our spouse and family. Work can cause a lot of issues that get carried into or affect home life too.
You may not be able to predict all the ups and downs that your marriage will face, but knowing each other’s attitudes and values well at the outset can help you to step into your new Union with clear vision and avoid a lot of heartache in the future.
Collaboration