Weddings. They come with all sorts of ‘rules & regulations’, don’t they? If you don’t have your wedding a certain way, then that automatically means, in some peoples eyes, that it isn’t as worthy. How stupid is this? But it is so evident, all around the world, especially when showcased in programmes such as Don’t Tell The Bride or Four Weddings. Participants in these programmes constantly moan about the stream of ‘cookie cutter’ weddings, all the while attacking anything that is remotely different.
The topic for today’s WPW was suggested by the gorgeous Mammaful Zo – like me, she is finding getting her head around wedding etiquette and following traditions just that little bit difficult. As she is my wedding planning buddy, how could I refuse?
In some of our families eyes, myself & Steve have done this whole wedding thing the wrong way around. I know its the Noughties and people don’t have to be married before having children but I can understand why the older generations of our families may feel that we have done it all wrong. We’ve even admitted to ourselves on more than one occasion that we would have preferred to have been married and have a little more stability before getting pregnant with Jack, but these things happen and I wouldn’t change them for the world.
We always knew we were getting married one day but it obviously wasn’t until Steve actually proposed that it all became real. This also threw up a fair few questions: do I have to have things a certain way at my wedding? Will I be able to plan it myself without interference from others? I know that both Zoe and I have had numerous people try to weigh in with what we should do, not even bothering asking if that’s what we want! I’m grateful to have Clare as a real life friend, who doesn’t tell me what I should do but advises me about good and bad things.
I have a basic outline of what I want rolling around in my head but have no real clue, to be honest. I need to do lots more research before I can even begin to imagine putting down deposits on anything. I find I am constantly second guessing myself too. Do I need a photographer and someone shooting the wedding video? What will people think of me using family and friend connections to bring costs down? Should I provide alcohol with the sit down meal?
Should I invite children? This is a big one for me. Obviously, Jack will be there plus any other children we may possibly have when we finally get married (need to start saving up some serious cash first!). Most of my friends have children, as do my family – but do I want loads of them running around the place? I’m not sure. There are so many rules when it comes to planning a wedding and I truly feel like breaking them all, just to see how it goes!
Why should it matter what people think?
What wedding ‘rules‘ did you break? Did you throw typical wedding etiquette out of the window?
Guest lists. Aren’t they a toughie? I know that I’m having trouble with them. I’ve touched on this in previous WPW posts but both myself & Steve have large families. Add to this equation living in a tiny little village where everyone knows everyone else’s business and expects an invite to EVERY social event, even if it was the opening of an envelope.
I spent some time discussing the topic of guest lists when I saw Lisa and Louise the other day. The people I could have sworn would have been coming to my wedding a couple of years ago, perhaps even been in my wedding party? I’m not even too sure if I want them there now. There is only a handful of friends (outside of blogging) that I can truly say that I want at my wedding. I’m not including work colleagues even though, of course, some of those are my friends. I barely speak to anyone from school anymore – these people have been my friends for over a decade yet I’m unsure how many, if any, I want at my wedding.
It’s strange to think that I am now closer to people I’ve met over the internet (through blogging) than I am to those who were my ‘BFFs’ 4 or 5 years ago. My friendship circles have changed – most of my friendships were formed either at school or from working in the Co-Op/pub/where I work now. I barely see anybody that I used to work at the Co-Op with – we’re all doing different things, I understand that. I barely see anyone from the pub unless I make a conscious effort to go down there because I don’t have the time, the money nor the want to go down there anymore – especially with a 16 month old child.
I find it strange how quickly such ‘strong’ friendships can dissolve into nothingness. I really will have to take some time over my guest list as I really do think I will be cutting it down to the bare essentials. I want this day to be about me and Steve and the people we care about most – I just don’t think a fleeting friendship from 5 years ago is going to make the cut.
Have you had/did you have trouble with your guest list? Let me know 🙂
~ Before I start this WPW post, I’d just like to say that today is mine & Steve’s 4 year anniversary – I can’t believe that we are now planning our wedding! Crazy! ~
Last week, I mentioned that this weeks WPW post would be all about wedding blogs that I love. I hope you find some fab new reads & if you are writing about your wedding planning, please do link up your posts in a comment below!
After last weeks post where I talked about budgets, plenty of you were on hand to give me some much needed tips! I have been talking to Steve about some of the tips I have received these past few weeks and we will definitely be taking some of them on board when it comes to the time. Anything that can be handmade by us will be and of course, it isn’t what you know, its who you know – we will be utilising our friends and families skills for our big day.
Although we are still no closer to setting a date, I am excited to see a bunch of wedding fairs coming up in the next month or so in my local area.These are great for getting an idea of the things that you would like – I went to one with a friend of mine a couple of years back during her planning and although she didn’t actually use any of the companies we saw that day, she definitely left with plenty more ideas than when she first walked through their doors.
I’m excited to visit these fairs and see some of the creative ideas people can come up with – and perhaps use similar ideas myself but for a lot cheaper? I have been scouring the internet for some low priced gems that I could possibly put to use on the day.
Although I haven’t come up with a colour scheme yet, it does seem like I am leaning towards a very white wedding. I couldn’t resist adding the ‘Wedding This Way sign‘ (£5.95) to this inspiration board and hopefully will be able to rustle up something similar once preparations truly get underway. The bird cage lantern is a snip at just £3.32 at the moment and I actually saw something similar at work the other week which was much more expensive. I was going to pick one up but we sold out of them so quickly – they were that popular!! I want something similar to this for our table at the reception – would it be silly to buy it now? I can’t guarantee it will stay at that price forever!
The plan is to have some lightly scented tea lights on each table so the Cherub Hanging Tea Light Holder (£8.95) would be perfect, although I will definitely be looking for something a little more cost effective come the time. Of course, what is a wedding without wedding favours? Again, I will probably use tea light holders as they just look so pretty! You can get 5 for £7.99 here which isn’t a bad price but I’ll keep looking around for a better deal.
The last thing I added to this little mood board was the hanging decoration from Party Pieces which is only £2.99. I’m definitely going to be letting the DIY side of me out a little more often to see if I can recreate something similar.
Would wedding DIY posts be something you’d like to see on the blog? Let me know! Next week, I will be sharing some of my favourite wedding blogs. Have you got a favourite? Leave it in the comments below!
Ah, that dreaded word. Budget. This is the one part of wedding planning that truly terrifies me. Just today I was talking to my friend Clare about weddings and she was telling me how she has gone over budget – it is so easy to do!
There are so many things to consider when planning a wedding; so many expenses that you have to account for. At the moment, the complete amount of money in the wedding fund is £0, that’s right, zilch. It is not a secret that Steve has been out of work for a while and money has been very tight, however it is 99% guaranteed that he will be getting the job he interviewed for last week so hopefully money will start pouring into the wedding pot very soon! We’re also looking at other ways to make some money for the wedding: odd jobs, Ebay, cashback, surveys. We’re also entering every cash competition going (which I would probably be doing anyway – being a comper and all!). We just have to see what is right for us when the situation arises.
The problem is once we have a substantial amount and things become a lot more real, shall we say, we have to work out exactly who to invite and who not to. Since the majority of the friends we want to invite will be in the bridal/grooms party, there will only be a handful of others invited which is no problem. However, when you consider the fact that I am one of 5 children, Steve is one of 4 – if you include our parents, that is a lot of people right there. Then there’s grandparents, aunts and uncles, nieces and nephews, cousins. I know some people say ‘Oh, why invite them all? Just have a small intimate wedding!’ – the problem is I have always dreamt of having the majority of my family at my wedding – we are so close and tight knit that I couldn’t imagine not inviting some of them. Of course, I have some family I rarely see so I won’t feel bad about not inviting them – but others? I want them there and there is a lot of them. That doesn’t even begin to start on Steve’s family.
He is just as close to all of his immediate and extended family – and his family are even bigger than mine. In both families, weddings are a big event so you can see why budgeting is a must. The problem is realistically this will probably cost a small fortune – but it’s something I’ve dreamt about since I was a little girl…
On another note, my niece got married with a very low budget and still had a spectacular day – showing that it can be done. In a dream world, I would be able to have the day I’ve always dreamt of for a relatively small budget…however, this isn’t likely to happen!
What are your thoughts? Have you got married or are you planning a wedding? How did you budget? How did you save money? I’d love to know – leave your comments below!
Sorry for the long spiel, sometimes you gotta say what you gotta say….