The dating scene has changed so much since I got together with Steve nine years ago. I see my friends navigating the dating scene, some bemoaning the men and women they are meeting and others having great success. One of my friends is now married to the man she met on a dating site and others haven’t had any success at all.
It has been many years since I’ve used a dating site such as Match Me Happy although I can distinctly remember signing up to a few in my friend’s bedroom with her and having a laugh and a joke as we exchanged messages with possible suitors. I remember me writing up her profile and her writing up mine as neither of us wanted to write our own – I find that it can be so easy to put yourself down when it comes to writing a bio and dating profiles are exactly like that. Our friends see the best in us when we struggle too so why not get your best friend to write your bio for you? Sometimes she will know you better than you know yourself – my friend certainly did – she knew I liked someone in the past before I’d even realised it myself and found out somehow that he liked me – so of course, she played matchmaker. It didn’t pan out (and made mine and his friendship weird for a while) but she knew me better than I knew myself!
My relationships have been quite boring, if I am quite honest. Not in the sense that the relationships themselves were boring – far from it – but I’ve only had two ‘proper’ relationships, I’d probably consider anything else as ‘seeing someone’ or a fling. The first relationship was for 6 months when I was 15/16 and then the NINE years I have been with Steve since I was 19. There were a few guys in between, some I met in real life, some I met originally on the internet on a free dating site – but nothing lasted.
My first proper relationship was with one of my friends. We were originally just friends but I ended up introducing my best friend to his best friend – they got on like a house on fire and were actually together for quite a while (she’s now married to the guy that she met on the dating site) and we inevitably ended up together. As with all teenage relationships, it crashed and burned quite quickly and our friendship was never quite the same afterwards which was a shame however there was still some sort of a semblance of a friendship. He even congratulated me when I announced I was pregnant with Jack – right in the middle of my workplace! Some of my work colleagues couldn’t understand why an ex would congratulate their ex – shows what some people think of relationships, right.
After him I was single for quite a while without even seeing anyone – I spent the summer having fun with friends, made some fab new friends and generally just had a good time. Then I got a job in the local pub. This lead to a few different ‘flings’ as I would call them before I eventually got together with Steve who worked in the pub next door. A couple of the short term things were friends – will I ever learn? – and some I lost as friends but some I still talk to quite regularly which I think is nice. Some people ask if Steve gets annoyed or jealous – but he was friends with a couple before we even got together so he can’t say too much! Would you fall out with your friends for it? Exactly! It’s silly!
Whilst I didn’t meet Steve on a dating site, I did meet a few people who I became friends with and also encouraged my friends to sign up – and some as I mentioned have had great success. Whilst it seems I was destined to get together with Steve (trust me – there is so much freaky stuff that connects us!), I do sometimes wonder where I’d be relationship wise if I wasn’t with him. Would any of those flings have panned out? Would I have headed back to the dating site to see what men were out there for me?
I now live vicariously through my friends – hearing the success stories and the sometimes failures is pretty amusing and interesting from the other side. I also follow some fab bloggers and love to read all about their dating exploits. My relationship journey has been pretty simple but some of my friends have been anything but – and the same could be said for some of the bloggers I read! I love seeing their paths to happiness though, it is so nice to see them on their journey!
What was your dating journey like?