I’ve written posts about friendship in the past but I felt inclined to write this, sitting here at 1am on Saturday morning. I’ve mentioned before that I don’t consider many of my ‘best friends’ from five years ago my friends anymore and I’m often left wondering – is there anything I could have done differently? It’s been a hard pill to swallow but no, there isn’t. I’ve come to realise that in fact, most of the time I was being treated like a mug.
Everywhere we go in life, we make friends. School, work, hobbies. I can count on one hand how many people I keep in contact with from school and my jobs collectively would be the same – whilst I keep in contact with the regular customers down my local where I worked for 3 years, I barely speak to old colleagues – yet we were all so close at one time.
I know that some of this is because I’ve settled down with Steve and we’ve got Jack, plus money is sometimes an issue so we’d rather stay in and watch a film once Jack’s gone to bed than piss our money up the wall but I’ve tried to make the effort with these so called friends and now I’m giving up. Why should I still be doing all the legwork after all these years?
This is why I’m so grateful for blogging, I’ve met some amazing people whether they are parents or not. I’ve even had the chance to meet many of them and have plans to meet more in 2014. Some people consider the blogging community as living in your own little virtual world. It’s funny because the people I’ve met and made friends with are far more in tune with the real world than those friends in the past that refuse to grow up.
Sorry for the rant – it’s just something that’s been getting to me recently. I’ve been trying to declutter the house and found myself going through old photos; now I come to that point: do I throw the photos away and thus throw away the memories of times we enjoyed or do I keep them and have them serve as a painful reminder that I can no longer turn to them anymore?
Today’s post is all about friendship. How it changes, transforms itself. These girls pictured above are the ones that have always been here for me, no matter what. Some I’ve known since the day I was born, others I didn’t talk to properly for 7 years whilst at different secondary schools – but I still knew I could run to her if I needed to. Some I met through school, some through work – but the fact remains- they’re always there for me!
I always used to think that when people said ‘you find out who your true friends are when you’re parents’, that it was just a bunch of lies. But it isn’t, it is definitely the cold hard truth and I only really realised that this past weekend. Whilst looking through some old pictures for this blog post, it saddened me to notice just how many friends have fallen by the wayside since having Jack – some even before! I know that it isn’t all their faults, some of the friendships I probably didn’t put enough effort into – but when you haven’t seen one of your so-called best friends in over a year and they barely make an effort to talk to you or visit you anymore, you know that the friendship is dead on the ground.
It is horrible when you used to spend almost all of your time with someone and then – its gone. It isn’t a nice feeling and is precisely why this year I am going to be focussing on my true friendships. The ones who are always there, come rain or shine. The ones that accept Jack as him, not those who disregard our friendship because they think of him as a third wheel. I honestly don’t want to waste time or effort on them people anymore.
Also, inspired by last nights #bbloggers chat, I have to mention some other girls who have become really great friends of mine:
I’ve probably used this photo a million and one times on the blog now, but I love it! This was the first day that I had met Lisa and Louise but we got on like a house on fire within minutes of meeting on the train! We’ve since met up for shopping trips, lunch and a unsuccessful film night round mine – unsuccessful because we managed to watch the grand total of 0 films…
I’m so excited for our next little plan, which is a bit of a secret for now, but I can’t wait to share it with you!
Blogging has led me to meet some amazing people and there are a few people that I seriously cannot wait to meet in the future: Helen//Sophia//Emz//Sarah//Charley//Lulu
and many, many more!
These people accept me for who I am – so why should I cling on to long dead friendships when I have the opportunity to make newer, better ones?